Yesterday I answered what the Torah says about talking in bed.
Today the next question.
Does Jewish law tell a couple which positions are allowed?
The strict sage from yesterday had a phrase for atypical relations.
He called it overturning the table, and he opposed it.
The sages answered him with a butcher’s shop.
“Like meat that comes from the butcher.”
“If he wants to eat it with salt, he may.”
“If he wants it roasted, cooked, or boiled, he may.”
In plain words: any manner a couple chooses is permitted.
The Rambam writes the same in his code.
A wife is permitted to her husband, with one boundary that does not move: no wasting of seed.
The Rema in Even HaEzer 25 repeats the permission and adds two things.
Nothing without her consent.
And whoever chooses to sanctify himself beyond the letter of the law is called holy.
So is there a single kosher position?
No.
The law sets the boundaries: consent, her comfort, and the seed rule.
Inside those boundaries, the marriage bed belongs to the two of you.
Many authorities urge restraint, and some specific practices are genuinely disputed.
For a question about a specific practice, bring it to your own rav or kallah teacher.
That is not a brush-off.
Disputed questions were always meant to be answered by someone who knows you.
I will not describe anything here.
Tznius is not ignorance.
It is knowing the law and keeping the details private, where they belong.
The Newlywed Guide to Physical Intimacy by Jennie Rosenfeld and David Ribner handles these questions with real care: https://www.amazon.com/dp/9652295353?tag=allclear0e-20 (paid link)
My own books are here: https://sarahmushka.net/books/
And the free 7 Secrets are here: https://sarahmushka.net/free-secrets/
P.S. Tomorrow: the kabbalistic “Holy Letter” that says the opposite of what most of us were taught about the body.